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You are here: Features » "Y´know what really grinds my gears?.": Union customers



"Y´know what really grinds my gears?.": Union customers

Published 29th Apr 2012


This GMGs is more angry than funny (if any of the other previous ones could be described as ‘funny’). I'm not gonna lie, I could be talking about you. I've been working in Rubix and Chancellors for a few years now and I've served my fair share of fools. I asked my boss if I was allowed to moan and he said so long as no-one were identifiable from my description - you're lucky. Here’s a list of things you may do to annoy:

Firstly, if you don't have the decency to put their money in my hand but instead put it on a sticky bar like my hands are diseased. It's cool, I'll just start putting your change on the sambuca drenched bar too... how do you like it?

We don't, and never have, accepted debit/credit cards in Rubix. We're in May now, learn this already.

Those people who complain about the waiting time at the bar but don't know what they want when it's their turn to order: idiots. Speaking of waiting, can I just say that we're not intentionally trying to punish you (most of the time), sometimes we honestly don't realise that you're next, but clicking your fingers could see you waiting at the bar for longer than the person who came along 10 minutes after you. Obviously, I wouldn’t do this because I’m professional.

Oh yeah, toilets: what the HELL are you doing in there over the course of the evening ‘ladies’?!

Those of you who think you can get free entry into Rubix when I’m working at box office; this especially goes out to the guys who try and wink their way to a free ticket. It’s not gonna work, it hasn’t worked yet, but try the challenge by all means; if it hasn’t worked for the last few years, I doubt it’ll work for my remaining few weeks. Also (seeing as we’re still on box office), moaning, "but it's only 11.15, why can't I just pay £1.50?" Reason: because it's past 11pm, so give me the £3 for your Citrus entry and next time try getting here before 11pm if the £1.50 matters that much to you.

Those of you who spill your own drink and ask for a free “cheeky” re-fill.

To those of you who lose your cloakroom tickets, don't expect the description "it's a black coat" to do anything for you. No. Wait until the end of the night to claim your coat and don't lose your ticket again.

BOTTLE bar - the clue is in the name, people!

To any of you who like screaming my name and waving frantically, like we're friends, because you want to get served before anyone else, hmmm. I have a method for dealing with people like you: I turn around, with an ecstatic look on my face (I'm really happy to see you), smile and wave frantically back, and then walk off. The satisfaction - I can't describe it. Wait your turn.

Rant done. I’m only telling you this for your own good, looking out for your welfare an’all. I’m not a moany mare all the time; it’s just that some customers need to think more and it just really grinds my gears!

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